A King Without His Crown…

I am pleased to say I have resumed work on this fanfic, but the going is slow since I still have a million things going on.  Be patient, and hopefully the next chapter will be done by the end of October, 2014. :)

humentallyinsane:

mlpstrider:

napoleon-is-complex:

mlpstrider:

But how did Edward get it up if vampires don’t have blood

because i wasted money on this big informational book about the series i can tell you. Stephanie Meyers said that all the vampires had venom to replace all bodily fluids. He came venom. His penis was a literal snake. Yes

oH MY GOd thIS IS BETTER THAN ANYTHING I COULD HAVE HOPED FOr

His… Anaconda do.

I am laughing so hard right now.

What if women had minstrel cycles instead of menstrual cycles? You’d just have a guy with a lute follow you around for a week every month and play you songs constantly?

My boyfriend (via thecarrionlibrarian)

#no but can you imagine if that was how you learned once a month you weren’t pregnant#by some dude singing songs about the victory of it#you wake up and he’s there and you are so happy#this dude becomes your favorite dude#but then you realize you haven’t seen your friend’s minstrel in a while#I mean everyone notices#like half the people are on the same cycle so for one week out of four your job is just flooded with fucking minstrels everywhere#the cacophony#but Mary over there is all alone#and she’s like my minstrel is late#but we all fucking know#her minstrel has gone off to find her a baby#a nine month journey he must make alone#and until he comes back there is no music in her life#what a glorious world this would be#I love the minstrels (@onionjuggler)